Posting Some Humorous Sayings I Came Across

These are just some fun sayings for a quick smile. Sometimes we just need that!

○ Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

○ Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

○ "Knowledge" is knowing a tomato is a fruit - whereas "Wisdom" is not putting it in a fruit salad.

○ Evening news is where they begin with "Good Evening" - and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

○ To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

○ A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.

○ How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

○ Dolphins are so smart, that within a few weeks of captivity they can train people to stand on the edge of the pool and throw them fish.

○ I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a paycheck.

○ I saw a well endowed woman wearing a sweat shirt with the word "Guess" printed on it. So I said "implants?"

○ Why is it that someone will believe you when you say there are four billion stars in the sky - but must touch the wall when you say the paint is wet?

○ Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

○ You do not need a parachute to sky dive. You only need a parachute to sky dive again.

○ A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

○ Some people cause happiness wherever they go - while others cause happiness whenever they go.

○ I always take life with a grain of salt . . . plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.

○ A bus is a vehicle that seems to move twice as fast when you are trying to catch it - than when you are actually riding in it.